I don’t like thinking out loud. No, I do, but I don’t like NOT HAVING CONTROL of what of mine is being digested in the public square. And yet, this is where the Lord has brought Jen and I. And so, I will try to make my thinking visible, so that others can journey along with us.
Let’s start with what is absolutely urgent: we need prayer.
This blog post is in two parts. The first is for those of us who are bottom line only folks, and the second is for people who want the back story.
The First Part: The Urgent Prayer Needs
1. We caught a miscarriage in the beginning stages. Pray that the procedure done would hold.
2. Pray for Jen. She is on bed-rest from this point forward in the pregnancy.
3. Pray for our son. He needs to stay in mom for a minimum of 6 more weeks to even come close to being viable. Pray he would stay in his mom for just as long as physically possible.
4. Pray for our marriage. I have a beautiful chance to serve my wife, to cry with her, pray with her, love her in a sacrificial way that I have not experienced yet in our marriage. Pray that even in the midst of this stressful time, our fellowship and union would grow stronger and sweeter.
5. Pray for our faith. God is good and does what is good. Pray that our faith would grow because God has counted us worthy to experience this trial in our life.
6. Pray for the advance of the gospel. In our own hearts. In our daily interactions. In the world around us as we go. Jesus+Nothing=Everything. I have already seen in my own heart the games being played of “I can still be happy, since I have”… and the blanks are filled in with my marriage, church, house, car, food, TV, etc. Nothing but Jesus will satisfy. All these other things are empty and vain.
We need you. We need the body of Christ right now. We are uncertain of the potential outcome, but confident in the certainty of our God in Jesus Christ. Thank you for your prayers.
For those who want the full story, read on.
The Second Part: The Full Story
Tuesday, June 9 was supposed to be a very normal, and exciting day. Jen is 18 weeks pregnant and we went to the doctor for our ultrasound. If the baby was sitting right, we would find out what it was. Our baby did not disappoint. Our son was swimming, playing, and I think, joking around with us. On the ultrasound, he waved, gave the thumbs up, and probably mooned us. Jen’s doc was then checking on mom, and the tone began to quickly change. Upon further exam, he determined that the cervix was open at the top over two-thirds of the way, and the amnionic sac was beginning to trail through the opening. Jen has a condition called “Incompetent Cervix”. In short, it is a genetic disorder that affects 1 in every 500 women. It normally is diagnosed in the aftermath of a miscarriage in the second trimester. The hand of God was on us on Tuesday as our doctor sent Jen immediately over to Athens Regional for an emergency cervical cerclage.
Exhausted and heads spinning, we came home Tuesday night, not entirely ready for the fun that awaited us on Wednesday. At the follow-up appt., the doctor confirmed that Jen is on bed-rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. At this point, the viability of our baby, medically speaking, is a 50/50 coin flip. Jen and I know that our baby belongs to the faithful hand of our Father who knit our son in his mother’s womb. From that perspective, our spirits are strengthened. But certainly, from a purely rational perspective, the odds of our baby going to full term, or even surviving at all, are not in our favor.
The second thing that is of great concern is an inter-uterine fibroid. A pre-existing condition prior to the pregnancy, the baby’s placenta is wrapped around this fibroid. If it abrupts, it will mean our baby will not survive. If she goes in to labor, before 24 weeks, our baby won’t survive. 24-26 weeks will be extremely hazardous. 26-28 weeks gives us more chances, and so on and so forth.
We know that our God is good and does what is good. We know that this is His child, given on loan to us. We know that He will sustain us supernaturally, because He desires to see us conformed more and more to the image of His Son.
I don’t know what the next several months are going to look like. I don’t know what we are going to need. I don’t know how deep the valley will go before we see the plan of God in its full perfection. But I know that God has knit us in community together so that we would demonstrate to one another and the on-looking world the beauty and power of the Gospel, and the Spirit of Christ.